Champagne Problems Review – Netflix’s Latest Holiday Romcom Lacks Fizz.

Without wanting to come across as a holiday cynic, one must bemoan the premature release of Christmas movies before Thanksgiving. Even as temperatures drop, it feels too soon to completely immerse in the platform’s yearly buffet of low-cost festive treats.

Similar to US candy which don’t include genuine cocoa, the service’s Christmas films are relied upon for their style of badness. They offer predictable elements – nostalgic casting, modest spending, fake snow, and unbelievable plots. At worst, these films are unmemorable disasters; in the best scenarios, they are forgettable fun.

Champagne Problems, the latest holiday concoction, blends into the broad center of the forgettable spectrum. Directed by Mark Steven Johnson, whose previous romantic comedy was so disposable, this film goes down like cheap bubbly – appropriately flat and situational.

It begins with what looks like a computer-made commercial for supermarket sparkling wine. This commercial is actually the pitch of the main character, portrayed by the actress, to her colleagues at a financial firm. The protagonist is the stereotypical image of a career woman – underestimated, constantly on her device, and ambitious to the detriment of her private world. After her boss sends her to France to finalize an acquisition over the holidays, her sibling makes her promise take one night in Paris to live for herself.

Of course, Paris is the perfect place to pull someone from digital navigation, even when the city is covered in below-grade CGI snow. At a absurdly cutesy bookstore, the lead has a charming encounter with the male lead, who pulls her away from her device. Following rom-com conventions, Sydney initially resists this perfect man for silly reasons.

Equally as expected are the film elements that unfold at abrupt quarter turns, mirroring the rotation of aging champagne bottles in the vaults of the family vineyard. The catch? The love interest is the successor to Chateau Cassel, reluctant to run it and resentful toward his dad for selling it. In perhaps the movie’s biggest addition to romantic comedies, Henri is extremely judgmental of corporate buyouts. The problem? The heroine sincerely believes she’s not stripping this family-owned company for profit, competing against three caricatures: a stern Frenchwoman, a rigid German, and an out-of-touch wealthy man.

The twist? Sydney’s shady colleague Ryan appears without warning. The core? Henri and Sydney gaze longingly at one another in festive sleepwear, across a vast chasm in financial perspective.

The upside and downside is that none of this sticks beyond a short-lived thrill on an unfilled belly. There’s a lack of substantial content – Minka Kelly, still best known for her role in Friday Night Lights, delivers a strictly serviceable performance, superficially pleasant and gestures of care, more maternal than romantic lead. The male star provides just the right amount of French charm with mild self-torture and nothing more. The tricks are not amusing, the romance is inoffensive, and the ending is straightforward.

For all its philosophizing on the luxury of champagne, nobody claims it is anything but a mass market item. The flaws are the very reasons some enjoy it. One might call a critic’s feelings about the film a minor issue.

• Champagne Problems can be streamed on Netflix.